From the Seine to the Puget Sound: How Three Countries Redefined My Body Image

As a Body Image therapist in Kirkland, I spend a lot of time helping clients unpack the "shoulds" of their lives. We often talk about the internal critic, but we rarely talk about how that critic speaks with a different accent depending on where we live.

My own body image wasn’t formed in a vacuum. It was forged across three countries, two continents, and a lifelong journey as a white, "medium fat" woman navigating an immigrant’s path.

1. France: The Cult of Thinness at Any Price

Growing up in France, I was immersed in a culture where thinness wasn't just an aesthetic: it was a moral imperative. There is a persistent myth of the "effortless" French woman, but the reality I witnessed was far more grueling. It was a culture of deprivation disguised as sophistication. In addition to the obsession with thinness, people would comment, criticize and scrutinize other people’s bodies.

The Landscape: I watched women navigate the world through a haze of cigarette smoke and the jittery energy of endless cups of black coffee. These weren't just social rituals; they were tools of appetite suppression. Smoking and caffeine were the primary food groups for anyone terrified of "letting themselves go."
The Message: Hunger was something to be outsmarted, not honored. To have an appetite was to have a lack of discipline.
The Impact: For women who were plus-size or even mid-size, this environment was suffocating. If the "ideal" was maintained through nicotine and caffeine-induced fasting, then inhabiting a naturally larger body felt like a public admission of failure.

2. The UK: The Relief of Diversity (and the "Heroin Chic" Conflict)

Moving to the UK in my 20s was a culture shock that, in many ways, allowed me to breathe for the first time. The visual landscape of the streets changed instantly. Unlike the narrow, homogenous aesthetic of my upbringing, I was suddenly surrounded by a much broader spectrum of humanity.

The Landscape: There was a visible presence of bigger bodies and a far greater diversity of looks, styles, and appearances. For the first time, I wasn't the only one who didn't fit a "size zero" mold. This diversity offered a sense of permission; I saw that life could be lived—and enjoyed—at many different sizes.
The Message: While the UK was still grappling with the "heroin chic" media trends of the 2000s, the reality on the ground was much more varied. There was a messy, vibrant plurality to how people showed up in the world.
The Impact: This was where I began to see my body as a political entity. I was an immigrant trying to blend in, and while the UK offered more visual "company," I still felt the tension of trying to find my place in a culture that was more accepting of size but still obsessed with the "makeover."

3. Seattle: The Land of Wellness and Contradiction

Then, I landed here in the Pacific Northwest. Seattle (and Kirkland specifically) presents a fascinating brand of body pressure. We trade the stiletto for the hiking boot, but the expectation of "fitness" remains.

The Landscape: Here, the "aesthetic" is rugged and functional. The streets are filled with Lululemon, Patagonia, and hiking gear. It’s a landscape that prioritizes "doing" over just "being," where your body is often judged by its utility and its ability to conquer a trail.
The Message: "Health" is the new "Thin." If you aren't outdoorsy, active, or "optimized," you're doing it wrong. The black coffee of my youth has been replaced by green juice, but the underlying pressure to shrink remains.
The Impact: As a medium-fat woman in the US, I encountered the "Weight Centric" medical model. However, I also finally found the language for Body Liberation. ---

Why This Matters in My Practice

Being a white immigrant gives me a specific privilege, but living in a body that doesn't always "align" with societal ideals gives me a specific empathy. My journey across borders was the catalyst for my own deconstruction of body shame.

In my private practice, I don't just see "symptoms"; I see individuals caught in the crossfire of cultural expectations. Whether you are navigating the pressure of starvation-level "discipline," the struggle with identity, or the pressure of hyper-active "wellness," please know this:

Your body is not a problem to be solved; it is the home you live in while you experience your life.

Final Thoughts

My accent may still carry traces of France, and my tea preferences may be British, but my understanding of body image is now rooted in a global truth: We are worthy of respect and love no matter what our body looks like or does for us.

Disclaimer: The information provided in this post is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional regarding your specific health needs.