IFS Therapy in Kirkland, WA, online and all across Washington
Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy in Kirkland: Harmonizing Your Inner World
Are you ever at war with yourself? Does one part of you want to go after a big promotion while another part is terrified of failing? Do you find yourself saying, "A part of me feels..."?
That intuitive language is actually the foundation of Internal Family Systems (IFS). As a therapist here in Kirkland, I use IFS to help clients move from internal conflict to internal harmony.
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Internal Family Systems is a compassionate, non-pathologizing approach to therapy. It suggests that our minds are naturally made up of different "parts"—sub-personalities that have their own perspectives, memories, and roles.
In IFS, we believe there are no bad parts. Every part of you, even the ones that cause you pain (like an inner critic or an anxious voice), originally took on its role to protect you.
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In the IFS "family," parts typically fall into three categories:
Managers: These are proactive protectors. They work hard to keep you productive, in control, and safe from emotional pain (e.g., perfectionism, people-pleasing, or harsh self-criticism).
Exiles: These are the vulnerable parts that carry wounds, often from childhood. They hold feelings of shame, fear, or "not being enough." To protect the system, Managers try to keep these parts "exiled" or hidden away.
Firefighters: These are reactive protectors. When an Exile’s pain breaks through, Firefighters step in to "put out the fire" immediately (like overeating or shutting down)
The "Self"
Beneath all these parts is your core Self: your calm, compassionate, and curious self energy. The goal of IFS isn't to eliminate your parts, but to help your Self become the "leader" of the system so your parts can finally relax.
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Because IFS is so adaptable, it is highly effective for a wide range of challenges common to our high-pressure Pacific Northwest lifestyle:
Anxiety & Perfectionism: Calming the "Manager" parts that feel life will fall apart if everything isn't perfect.
Trauma & PTSD: Safely unburdening "Exiled" parts without having to relive every traumatic detail.
Depression: Understanding the parts that use numbness as a way to protect you from deeper pain.
Relationship Conflict: Learning how to stay "in Self" during difficult conversations with partners or family.
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An IFS session often feels more like an "inward journey" than a typical conversation.
Checking In: We start by identifying a "trailhead" which can be an emotion, thought, or physical sensation you’re feeling right now.
Unblending: I’ll help you create a little space between "You" (the Self) and the part (the perfectionism or inner critic for example).
Befriending: We approach the part with curiosity.
Healing: As your parts begin to trust your Self, they can release the heavy "burdens" they’ve been carrying for years.
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FAQs
Q: Is this like "Multiple Personality Disorder"?
A: Not at all. Multiplicity of the mind is a natural and healthy human experience. Think of it like a "corporate team" or a "family" where different members have different jobs, but they all belong to the same organization (You).
Q: How is this different from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)?
A: CBT often focuses on "fighting" or "changing" negative thoughts. In IFS, we don't fight thoughts. We get curious about them. Often, once a "negative" thought feels heard and understood, it changes on its own.
Q: Will I have to talk about my childhood the whole time?
A: While we do often find that parts took on their roles during childhood, we focus on how they are affecting you now. We go into the past only when a part feels safe and ready to show us what it's carrying.
Q: Do you offer IFS sessions in person in Kirkland?
A: Yes! I offer both in-person sessions at my Kirkland office and convenient telehealth options for residents throughout Washington State.
Ready to meet your inner world?
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